hey sorry i havent been on again in almost a year.. i dont know where to go to get my feelings out so i figured, why not here.. sorry this is like the first thing im writing too in about a year.. i will get happier ones up after this.

Anyway, I am so freakin sick of everyone here. i cant take it. my parents, and a few of my friends. im gonna be 19 in less then a month... why should my parents feel they have to put so many restricions on my life. i love them dont get me wrong, but man.. i cant even seriously go on something as simple as a camping trip with my bf and his roomate and his gf. Im not even sharing a tent with my bf im sharing one with his roomates gf! why wouldnt i be able to go?! well in the words of my mom she say "Well thats how babies happen... u just get caught up in the moment and do things ur not suppose to.." hello?! i am not gonna have a kid at this stage in my life, why would i do something like that on a camping trip..especially if friends are gonna be there..yea.. smart..in a tent in the wilderness great...lol thats wonderful. They are just so strict i feel like they dont want me to find who i am.. ya know? i dont get it..

Also friends, i don understand them either... i feel like im losing everyone around me exept for maybe like four or five of them. I havent done anything wrong and one of my closest friends now hates me i feel, cause she cant spend alone time with my bf, and she cant spend much time with him because she has to work when he doesnt and he does when she has to... so..yea.. we like hanging out with eachother thats how things are suppose to be in a serious relationship... uhm ur not gonna be able to spend the night anymore or go over to my bf's house late into the night anymore, sorry that just causes complications.. so my advice for that is get the fuck over it. u still get to hang with him its not like its my fault im not saying for my bf to cut off his friendship.. im just saying i dont like it when she tries to do stuff like that.. u can go out to coffee go chill at the mall, or even get lunch and catch up..idc, im not being unreasonable here...

Some people need to fuckin get over themselves and actually care about others and if something doesnt go there way dont fuckin throw a hissy fit over it!!! life lets u down way more then u could ever imagine if u let it... so why are these people around me making things difficult and why now do i have a bf that is pissed at my parents for not letting me stay out past midnight to go see a movie. its taking its tole on me and im sick of not having the freedom i deserve.. i listened to my parents my whole life why cant they just trust me. and why cant my friends get over little issues and still love. i dont understand how some people can be so cold...